Title: THE ALCOHOL CON:
HOW TO OUTSMART IT
Author: Michaela Weaver
Publisher: Parker Press Publishing
Pages: 148
Genre: Self-Help
Is drinking having a negative effect on your life? You are not alone!
Millions of strong-minded, capable people find themselves falling victim to the biggest con trick of our time – alcohol!
It lures us with false promises of fun and social acceptability. Instead we find ourselves caught in a cycle of drinking, hangovers, morning regret, and guilt.
Despite being successful in other areas of life, it seems difficult to change our drinking habits. In the face of alcohol it’s easy blame ourselves, and believe we are unable to exercise self-control.
In this ground-breaking book, The Alcohol Con is exposed, and unraveled with insight and humour. Drawing on her own experience, and with a background in science and professional coaching, Michaela Weaver paves the way for you to outsmart the alcohol con, break free and move forward to a bright new sober future.
Amazon → https://amzn.to/3f16YRG
Introduction
Thirty years after joining the merry-go-round of drinking alcohol, my
thumping head, nauseous stomach, and I, finally saw it for what it was:
the biggest con trick on the planet. At that point I metaphorically got
off the ride, left the fairground, and walked off into a beautiful sunny
day. I’m still walking around in that beautiful sunny world, where it’s
calm and peaceful, and the war of wants, and shouldn’t haves, and
hungover regrets has stopped raging in my head.
I don’t head for the fridge as soon as I get home from work anymore,
and don’t curse when I find only a half a bottle left there from the
night before. I don’t worry about going out with friends and needing to
remember to stop drinking after four drinks, only to have four drinks
and forget to remember. I don’t ever wake up at 3am with a dry throat,
and racing heart with a feeling of dread as I try to remember what I
said and did the night before. I don’t have to deal with my guilt, or
feeling stupid because I decided not to have a drink last night, but
come wine o’clock my body went into autopilot as my brain decided to
change its mind, and I did the very thing I promised myself that I
wouldn’t do.
I don’t do any of that any more because I outsmarted the con artist
that had held my confidence and trust for all those years. I outsmarted
alcohol, and you can too. Alcohol has no control over me, as I now
realise it once did. I am in complete control of every drop of alcohol
that passes my lips. I consume exactly the amount of alcohol that I want
to drink, which is exactly none.
You can get smart about alcohol, and you can get control over it. But
before you can outsmart anything, you need to understand it. In the game
of psychological warfare, knowledge is ammunition, and knowledge is
power.
But wait a minute.
Surely, if there’s a problem with alcohol, then it’s the people who
drink too much of it that have a problem. After all, isn’t the term
‘alcohol abuse’ aimed at the uncontrolled drinker and not the drink
itself.
We all know that it’s alcoholics on park benches drinking meths from
bottles in paper bags who have a problem. We know it’s them who need to
go to weekly AA meetings and sit in a circle proclaiming their
acquiescence to a lifelong disease and affliction that they battle in
misery to control because they were born with some dodgy genes.
We know that we’re different and our kind of drinking belongs in a
different world. Ours is a world of grown-up laughs, sophisticated
choices, and wine o’clock normality.
We’ve all grown up knowing that drinking alcohol is the golden ticket
to adulthood and more alluring than a first kiss. We spent the early
years of drinking, proving we could drink like fishes, building up
tolerance, and working hard for the badge of being a proper grown up
alcohol drinker.
We learned that drinking is the multi-tasking doer of all things: it
relaxes, relieves boredom, gives a whoop of joy, helps get over an
argument, deals with our stress, fills our hours, brings us our friends,
make social occasions fabulous, helps us throw off our clothes in the
bedroom, makes us happy, makes us interesting, and the life and soul of
the party.
We know all these things. Or we think we do. So why on earth would we
need to outsmart it, when it does so much for us, our family, our
friends, and everyone we know?
Because if it really did all those things, and there were no
consequences, then it would be awesome, it really would. The problem is,
as we all know, that if anything seems too good to be true, then it
usually is. And alcohol is no exception. Yet virtually every drinker
genuinely believes in a long list of benefits that alcohol brings
them.
Since birth, we’ve been conditioned by society, media, and the people
we know and love, to believe that drinking alcohol is not only normal,
but expected. It is the only drug on the planet that you have to justify
not taking. Because alcohol is a drug, although the fact is not widely
advertised: you don’t see advertisements saying, ‘Drink Sauvignon Blanc
this Christmas, it’s a highly addictive and poisonous drug.’
In terms of addictive power, alcohol sits beside heroin, cocaine and
nicotine. It is second to heroin in the addictive stakes, scoring 2.2/3
where heroin scores 2.5/3.
In a UK study by David Nutt of Imperial College London in 2010, alcohol
was found to be the most harmful drug on the planet based on 16 criteria
relating to harm to the individual and harm to others. In the study,
alcohol scored 72/100 compared to the second most dangerous drug,
heroin, scoring 55/100, and crack cocaine which scored 54/100. Alcohol
is not only harmful to us physically, it harms us psychologically, and
it harms our families. Alcohol hurts the people we love.
Alcohol may be harmful, but we all know that in small doses it’s good
for us. We’ve been told that it’s good for our heart to have a glass of
red wine each day. Sadly, as medical knowledge expands, this is another
bubble in the alcohol con to burst. The good stuff in red wine is
resveratrol, which you can find in strawberries, grapes and blueberries
to name a few sources, and these don’t come with increased risk of
cancer to the neck, head, breast, colon, oesophagus or liver.
A study published in The Lancet in 2018 concluded that the level
of alcohol consumption per week that minimises health loss is zero. Put
another way, this means that for us mere mortals, the safe amount of
alcohol to consume is none. The study used 650 data sources, and over
590 studies in reaching its conclusion. Alcohol consumption has now been
linked to 60 acute and chronic diseases, and just one glass of wine per
day has been linked to a 15% increased risk of breast cancer.
We may know that something is bad for us, but our minds have an amazing
ability to convince us that inconvenient facts which stand in the way of
us doing what we want to do don’t apply to us. The mild inconvenience of
the negatives pale into insignificance compared to the enormous benefits
that we’re convinced that we’re getting.
And then one day something changes. Some crisis occurs that affects us
personally, and we decide that we have to do something different.
Right now, you probably believe that alcohol is an important part of
your life. But you’ll also know that supping those glasses of wine or
beer each night, or partying hard at the weekend, is causing a problem.
Alcohol may be affecting your health, your work, or your relationship,
or maybe all three.
You may be realising that the hangovers are feeling worse, or that you
feel tired all day until a drink in the evening miraculously wakes you
up.
Waking up full of remorse and anxiety, with a thumping head, and a
questionable or even nonexistent recollection of last night’s events is
far from fun, relaxing or stress-free. In fact, it’s diametrically
opposite. And vowing never to do it again only to pour a glass of red
wine at dinner isn’t good for long term self-esteem, either, as you find
yourself in a constant cycle of internal mental battles, over which
reaching for a glass always wins.
The result is that the real you, the conscious-minded part of you that
doesn’t want to drink, fails. Always. And I know, because I always
failed too. If I’d had a particularly boozy Saturday night with friends
and felt hellish the next day, I’d be proud of myself that I didn’t have
a glass of wine that evening. The fact that I was still feeling queasy
from the night before didn’t enter my head as being the reason for my
evening of abstinence.
When I decided to stop drinking for a while, like on a hungover 1st
of January having decided to do a dry month, I’d start off feeling
amazingly positive and determined. All my resolve and positive vision of
self, drinking green tea every evening, was primed and ready for action.
I would spring open the fridge and give the bottle of wine a ‘Ya boo,’
scoff before putting it firmly in the back of the cupboard, with a ‘See
you in February,’ smile.
I’d go to the pub and loudly order a diet coke, telling the bar tender
that I was doing Dry January. I might as well have stood on the
bar, grabbed a microphone, and shouted to the room, ‘Look at me with my
diet coke everyone! Look at me controlling alcohol. I’m not drinking
Chardonnay or Merlot here today my friends, so I DON’T HAVE AN ALCOHOL
PROBLEM.’ Thou doth protest too much.
By around the 20th of January I was usually bored with
Dry January and poured myself a large chilled glass of white wine
to celebrate my abstinence. A week later and I had my nose back in the
fridge at wine o’clock, waking up on Saturday morning with a remorseful
hangover.
For someone who is fundamentally a smart person, none of that made me
feel very smart. And that’s the problem, drink makes a fool of everyone,
even the most successful and well educated of us.
What you’re about to find out is that the whole package that is wrapped
up in the glass in your hand is the result of a very clever and long
drawn out confidence trick. It’s a confidence trick that has drawn you
in, like it did me, and millions of others, and one that you have
completely trusted.
All con tricks work because the con artist gains your trust,
implicitly. You believe in them, who they say they are, and the benefits
that you believe they can bring you.
The psychological brainwashing of addiction happens in the subconscious
mind, and this is the part of your mind that says, ‘Oh go on then,’ when
your conscious mind is sitting there with its arms crossed and a large
banner with the words, ‘I’m not going to drink today’ emblazoned in bold
lettering. This explains why we feel stupid when we’ve gone to such
lengths, just to cave in five minutes later.
If you knew for a fact that you had been a victim of a con trick that
had trapped you, would you want to get out?
Alcohol is the basis of a confidence trick of pandemic proportions,
with millions of people across the world being caught out and being
caught in the trap. Alcohol is embedded in every crevice of our society
and for many it’s a trusted friend. It has won the confidence of people
like you and me who genuinely believe (as I used to) that it adds value
to their lives, and that life without it would be deficient. Alcohol is
also the cause of inordinate suffering and misery for millions of people
who find they can’t live with it and can’t live without it.
Alcohol is the con trick that is fooling the world. Intelligent,
successful, strong-minded people are amongst the most common group to
fall for the con and give their trust to alcohol. It’s only when you try
to get out that the rope tightens, and you realise that you’re trapped.
With minds yo-yoing between wanting a drink, and trying to stop having
one, or just having less, most drinkers mistakenly blame themselves for
being weak, and unable to control alcohol. People don’t realise that
they are victims of a con.
Unless you’ve read a library of books on addiction, drugs and alcohol
lately, then there’s a ton of stuff about alcohol that you are
completely unaware of, just like I was. And you’re a bright person.
You’re smart. I am too. I’ve got degrees, I’ve written books, run
businesses and I’ve raised kids, but I was drawn in by the alcohol con,
just like the millions of smart, intelligent, successful people who are
still in the trap.
When people try to get out, the con trick keeps them trapped by adding
layer upon layer of false confidences and beliefs.
People think they can’t live without alcohol, and life would be dull. A
few years ago, the very idea of going to a party and not being able to
drink would make me feel deprived, even before I got there.
Recently a friend came to stay, and twice before she arrived, I went to
my local shops to get some last-minute supplies. Both times I had ‘buy
wine’ on my mental list, because my friend is a drinker. Both times I
completely forgot the wine. I ended up texting my partner to ask him to
pick up some on the way home from work. A few years ago, I would have
gone to the shop to pick up some milk and would have come through the
door with two bottles of wine, and completely forgotten the milk.
I’m now free, and it feels great.
People talk about ‘giving up’ alcohol as though there’s something to
lose, and I appreciate that right now that’s what you believe. It’s the
reason that people are so fearful of facing the problems that alcohol is
causing. It’s like the abusive partner who beats someone up only to hug
them better. We all know that person is manipulative and can’t be
trusted. The alcohol con is cleverer though, because whereas an abusive
lover may shower someone with tangible gifts and benefits, there are
literally no benefits to taking alcohol, and you’ll get smart to that
later in the book.
I use the word ‘take’ in relation to alcohol interchangeably with the
word ‘drink’, because drinkers drink to take the drug
which is alcohol. Heroin is mostly injected, or smoked, and nicotine is
smoked, or vaped. I know that you won’t like to think of it that way:
taking alcohol, but that is what it is. If it makes you recoil,
or feel aggrieved, that’s okay. You’ll find out later that’s just your
subconscious mind, and it’s your subconscious mind that is the real
victim of the confidence trick.
Alcohol, and everything that it embodies, is the con artist who has
lied and continues to lie to you. Alcohol is the Pied Piper of Hamlyn
who plays happy music full of promises of joy. And just like the piper
it lures the followers, reeling them in, slowly, subtly, until the point
when it’s got them, and it’s too late. It’s not too late for you though,
and if you are prepared to get smart with alcohol then you’ll be in full
control very soon.
Alcohol traps educated, capable, strong-minded people. The only abuser
in the alcohol equation is the alcohol itself. It is not us who abuse
alcohol, it is alcohol that abuses us.
Alcohol is the loan shark who lends you $20, then demands $30 in
repayment, who lends you the $30 to then demand a repayment of $40. It
is the loan shark who gives with one hand and takes with both, taking
you ever further in debt while you try to get back to being where you
were before you started.
It’s time to delve into the confidence and trust that we have put in
alcohol and to unravel the greatest confidence trick of our time.
As a TEDx speaker, author, masters qualified coach, science
graduate and professional woman, you would think that with all that
I’d know better than to find myself addicted to alcohol and stuck in
a ‘wine o’clock, weekend binge’ drinking cycle.
But I have since learned how and why we become addicted to alcohol,
and how to change that.
I now help women to learn about alcohol, revolutionize their
relationships with alcohol and skip, run and jump into a thriving
life without alcohol dragging them down.
You’re not weak, incapable or out of control, but maybe like
millions of others you were lured in and fell for a highly addictive
and insidious drug.
As a TEDx speaker, author, masters qualified coach, science graduate and professional woman, you would think that with all that I’d know better than to find myself addicted to alcohol and stuck in a ‘wine o’clock, weekend binge’ drinking cycle.
But I have since learned how and why we become addicted to alcohol, and how to change that.
I now help women to learn about alcohol, revolutionize their relationships with alcohol and skip, run and jump into a thriving life without alcohol dragging them down.
You’re not weak, incapable or out of control, but maybe like millions of others you were lured in and fell for a highly addictive and insidious drug.
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