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Guest Post
Nature’s Harmony Pyramid™ Climb It to Your Best Life
As Albert Einstein once said, “Look deep
into nature and you will understand everything better.” Profound advice and, speaking for myself,
profoundly true. Do you have too much
chaos in your life? Too much conflict, frustration or resentment? That was certainly true for me, so years ago
I took Albert’s advice. I found
the secret to greater harmony and personal success – not in books or ideologies
– but in Mother Nature herself! Turns
out there is a specific process of social interaction that animals follow
to maximize cooperation and minimize argument.
I can best describe it as a “pyramid” of social interaction. I simply wrote it down and call it the
Harmony Pyramid™
The Harmony ™ identifies Nature’s
universal pattern of social interaction, divided into of six sequential
tiers of awareness and action, which must be climbed in a specific order --
similar to Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs, but now we’re dealing with social
relationships instead of personal fulfillment. Understanding the Harmony
Pyramid™ reveals how animals have managed to live in relative peace with one
another for millennia, and how we can, too.
Six
Tiers to Harmony
The Pyramid is composed of six Tiers, or stages of
interaction, starting at the bottom with Trust, moving up through Situational
Awareness, Personal Boundaries, Acceptance, Social Success and finally to
Harmony at the pinnacle of the Pyramid.
Here’s a brief summary of each tier.
Tier #1
Trust: I believe in your character, honesty and
ability
Trust
will determine from the get-go whether a relationship has the potential to be
harmonious or whether it will be fundamentally flawed and destined for discord.
Trust is the determinant. For example, living with a spouse that keeps
secrets or has an unpredictable temper, working for a disingenuous boss, or
raising a teenager that routinely lies to your face will always spell challenge
and prevent full and complete Harmony. You might eventually get your way in
those relationships, but cooperation will not be willingly given and certainly
not in the spirit of harmony. On the
other hand, when Trust exists or can be restored, a truly satisfying and
productive relationship is possible. (More on building or restoring Trust in a
later post.)
Tier #2
Situational Awareness:
I understand our “pecking order” in this particular
situation
Some hierarchy of authority routinely forms within a
group, with rules and expectations so that the group can function safely and
efficiently. A healthy hierarchy is Nature’s way to avoid chaos. It prevents
anarchy, the sworn enemy of group cohesiveness. It creates a structure in which
each member of the group not only knows who is in charge but each knows their
own place and their responsibilities within the group. The key for us is
knowing that every situation has its own hierarchy of power and where, in that
particular situation, we stand on the power ladder. A simple example would be that of a mother,
who has the power advantage over her children at home where she is the parent,
but in the workplace where she is an employee, she is lower on the situational
hierarchy than her boss. Being aware of
the “pecking order” in any given situation is crucial in order to continue the
journey up the Pyramid.
There is no room on this Situation Awareness Tier for
entitlement or hubris. Things are what
they are…even if they are not what you think they should be.
Tier #3
Personal Boundaries:
I realize the limits and expectations of
my present position
Once you know where you stand in a situation, you must
also figure out the specific limits and expectations of that current
position. When each member of a group
(even a group of two) knows exactly what is expected of him or her in that
situation, it minimizes stress, confusion and hurt feelings. Specific duties
and responsibilities for each position within a situational hierarchy as well
as limits of authority for each individual, keep things calm and efficient with
no fighting over control. Personal boundaries prevent confusion and
misunderstanding, two of the greatest enemies of Harmony.
Tier #4
Acceptance:
I accept this present arrangement
In
my epiphany years ago, I learned that gracious acceptance of our differences in
abilities and status is not only the key to interpersonal harmony, but
ironically, the key to personal
advancement as well. Only from this
peaceful place of accepting who we are and where we stand in the group dynamic
can we implement an upward strategy with maximum cooperation and minimum
pushback. It is what animals know and we should, too.
Acceptance might come naturally to those lucky few
already in a position of authority to command what they desire. Acceptance of a
lower situational status position, however, may not be as easy for the rest of
us, who need willing cooperation from others whom we cannot “command.” We might
want more advancement at work, or greater cooperation from our spouse but only
from a place of acceptance of the way things are now can we change the future.
Anger, argument, resentment, indignation, entitlement – all work against us,
since no successful negotiation or willing cooperation happens in an atmosphere
of conflict. On the other hand, Acceptance of your present position, even if
you hope to change it in the future, creates a calm and rational platform for change through cooperation! This is where that shift in mindset might be necessary
and egos may need reining in. I didn’t say this would be simple!
Tier #5
Social
Success: We are cooperating, and I am
getting what I want
With the supporting Tiers of the Pyramid firmly in
place, everything is now aligned for a successful interaction or negotiation. Social Success with another person, be
they your boss, co-worker, employee, friend, child or spouse and a productive
discussion about what you need or want can now happen. If you
have the power advantage and have acted with calm and reasonable
follow-through, you are likely to get the cooperation you seek. If you are lower on the power ladder but have
fostered trust and cooperation with your “superior”, they are likely to reciprocate,
and cooperate with you. You have created an atmosphere of mutual
respect and a safe space in which even delicate conversations can take place.
These same supporting Tiers of Trust, Situational Awareness, Personal
Boundaries and Acceptance are adaptable to any type of relationship,
professional or personal, because of the mutual respect the Pyramid produces.
Tier #6
Harmony:
We are happy together
You have done it! You have reached the top Tier of the
Pyramid which is Harmony -- a state of being created by your sustained Social Success which has made
life most gratifying and enjoyable.
In my new book, CRACKING THE HARMONY CODE: Nature’s
Surprising Secrets for Getting Along While Getting Your Way, I go into
detail on specific action recommendations for those in power-advantaged
positions and those lower on the power ladder, as they both must climb the
Harmony Pyramid in very different ways.
The magic of the Pyramid, however, is that when the Tiers are ascended
in the right order and in the right way, anyone can succeed in gaining willing
cooperation from others, whether it’s
getting along better with our co-workers, gaining more admiration from our
boss, getting our kids to mind without pushback or cultivating a more loving
relationship with our spouse. The applications of the Pyramid, however, are
endless! It can be applied to any situation.
Here’s to your harmonious life!
CRACKING TH HARMONY CODE is available in eBook and paperback.on Amazon.com. https://amzn.to/2Ph8fLP
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