I’d go back to 1967 in Newark, NJ where I went to high school and grew up.

I’d go back and say to myself Hey, I know the riots just ended and things look bleak. I know when you take the bus home after dark you feel alone and scared, and girls scare you a too because you’re in an all-boys school. And I know how it feels like something’s going on someplace else and you’re missing out. And the political assassinations nobody can explain. MLK, JFK, Bobby. I know it feels bad. But believe me. It’s going to get weirder than this.

I’d go back and say to myself Nothing’s ever definite. You’ll learn that someday. Everything’s meant to be scary because that’s good. Because scary makes things fun. Not normal. Not to vanilla. Scary’s got a whole lot of shake-up to it. That’s how you survive. You embrace the shake-up. Shake-up can be funny, you know. It’s what makes you funny. It’s how you make people laugh. That’s why when somebody jumps you and tries taking your money and you say something funny, it eases the situation. It keeps it calm. Do you remember when somebody tried jumping you and you made him laugh. Both of them, you made them both laugh and they let you go. Remember that happening to you? Or has it not happened yet? I’m not good at keeping time straight in my head.

Just remember, you’re only 14, and you think everything’s supposed to go a certain well-polished way. Except dad’s laid off. And mom’s serving fish sticks at way too many meals. And it makes you angry because you think it shouldn’t be going this way. It should be more polished.

Except nothing’s ever polished. That doesn’t mean it’s bad, either. What makes it bad is your mind seeing it as something bad. Something that shouldn’t be happening that you stew in and resent. You resent those who love you for things not being polished enough.

Except nothing’s polished.

Until you polish it. Until you stop thinking Hey, things are supposed to be going better than this. There is no “supposed to”.  There is only how things actually go.

It all comes down to how your mind sees it.

You should let your mind see things as they are for the simple reason that that’s how they are. Do that and it wouldn’t eat you up so much.

There is no ideal. There is nothing out there that’s the way it’s supposed to be. There’s only what is now. Not how things should have been in the past. Not how things should be in the future.  Embrace now. The pain gets better once you allow yourself walk into it. Once you accept it.

Make sense? Because, if not, I can always go back to when I came from.

Except I’ve been there. And I been where you are now.

And I just thought I’d tell you.

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