Self Help- Body mind Spirit- Psychology

Date Published: 9/29/20

Do you have a yearning to be the best version of yourself, but struggle to connect with your inner child? If you answered yes, perhaps I can help. I am Reyhan Toplu, and once upon a time, I was just like you. My journey will help inspire you to reconnect with yourself. 

We’ve all heard the cliché, “don’t lose sight of the child within”, but how do we hold onto them in a world of negativity? How do we preserve our love and innocence in a world seemingly intent on grinding us down? The time is right for us to rediscover our inner peace and self-love.

Too many of us think of our inner child as someone to fight against, rather than embrace. The victim of embarrassment, trauma, and for some of us, suffering, we’re all too willing to fight against the worst of what our inner child could be, rather than realizing the potential for growth, love, and happiness. This book is all about a journey to reconnect with my inner child, a book of ideas to help you on your own journey to finding peace and happiness. Our journeys may not be the same, but I hope my story can help guide you to finding your own contentment.

Journey with me, Reyhan Toplu, as we explore the hidden truths of your inner child on a quest for health and happiness that comes from within.

Excerpt

- Rumi

 What is a paradigm? What is the inner child? There are many words in psychology. Paradigm is one of them. The basic definition is: it is the imaginary lens through which the mind perceives everything and how we see the world. Another way to say is it is your perception and acts according to mind orders. Think of it as a pair of sunglasses through which we see the world. It is a mindset or programming that has control over all habitual behaviors. A paradigm is set up in our minds and we see things via our experience. Many label this as the shadow side, dark side, inner child, or id.

A paradigm has huge influence over perception, the use of time, creativity, effectiveness, logic, productivity, ability to earn money, relationships, all aspects of our lives. When you shift your perception, you unveil yourself from what is outward. The way of doing this is to unlearn, relearn and transform. Where is our paradigm stored? It is a vital question for you because all of our paradigm storage is in our subconscious mind. The subconscious mind is a part of our mind which is shaped by feelings and emotions.

The inner child is part of the mind (subconscious) being affected while you are a child between conception to 8 years of age. The root is right in the center of your mind. This not the same for everyone. I have noticed that children are particularly affected. Because kid’s sensitivity develops quicker than their cognitive reasoning, and then something happens in these formative years with their cognitive reasoning and understanding, their thinking, where one event or a series of events happen between that age gap and creates a strong emotional feeling – a really really overwhelming feeling which traumatizes them. In their logic, catching up with their emotions, triggers very strong emotional reactions. This child is experiencing the feeling but does not have the cognitive reasoning, the thought power, understanding and the knowledge to deal with that feeling. So they are in this position where they going to be believe in their emotions but they do not know how to deal with it. I could say that is the birth of the inner child. 

It is a part of your mind that is blocked or stuck in this very important stage. That very part of your mind can not act in a certain way. Every human has those parts of their minds. I can hear you while you say: It must be me! Something is wrong with me! And the child has to deal with this tsunami in his/her mind. And the child vows this for the rest of his/her life. The child believes that vow deeply in his/her core from then on. Even as the child grows right to 60, 70, 80 years of age, he/she believes that because it is still planted in his/her mind. It is frozen and locked in so the inner child sees the world through these spectacles and accepts all these events or experiences he/she held in his/her mind from an immature stage. You act immaturely and you say things that are not true. It is like having somebody there talking in your head. This is how it feels for many. İt is your mind, but it is not mature.

Just to give an example to visually understand, imagine you are in a beautiful garden full of flowers, birds, bees and butterflies. Everything is healthy, grooving in harmony, and there is a little patch in the corner, with rubbish and bins. Although seeds lay beneath, they have not germinated because you have to clear all the rubbish away, water the ground, and then the seed will germinate. That is exactly what you have to do in your mind.

Whatever it is called, paradigm or inner child, it is all the same. It is important to ask yourself three questions and speak with your paradigm communication. Ask your inner child what would you like to tell me or what you want. That child suddenly does not know what to say. The inner child will be shocked suddenly. This may be because you need space to talk freely because you may be judged, blamed, abandoned, etc. Communicate genuinely with your inner child in such a way like nurturing your own child. Create space, give time, stop embarrassing, criticizing, being judgmental and comparing your inner child.

Some people misunderstand the inner child. Just because you had your basic needs met as a child, like a roof over your head and food on the table, it does not mean you did not experience early childhood trauma! When I started my inner child healing journey, I asked myself what is that inner child. I could not identify the child within me. I had internal knowledge that a part of me was traumatized and hiding herself from surroundings due to not feeling safe physically and spiritually.

In me, in you and in everyone around you, there is a little child in pain and suffering. There are good times and challenging times. We all experienced those difficulties and most of us experience different levels of traumas in our unique circumstances. This does not mean a small or large amount. When you are in a downswing as a child, you do not know the swing changes to get better. In order to be cognizant of this, you need to use higher mental faculties or laws, but due to the lack of knowledge, experience and surroundings that little child has no ability to manage and ease those traumas. In order to protect and shield ourselves, we try to forget and suppress our subconscious mind from those events, moments or painful times. As a result, we may not be aware of our inner paradigm or inner child even for decades.

The fact that we may ignore or deny and suppress our inner child and send him/her to our rabbit hole (subconscious mind) does not mean the little one is not there. The wounded child is always there, seeking expression and trying to get your attention. While we have many a-ha moments, they are feelings coming to the surface, showing up in our entire life and manifesting as dysfunctional behaviors, habits and experiences. Because that inner child wants to express “See me please! I am here! Help me! Help me! You cannot run away from me.” While we hear those inner voices, we want to end our suffering and we try to send the inner child deeper inside as far as possible. It is a pity trying to avoid or run from trauma because it does not help us or end our suffering. We are sending our inner child to the subconscious mind to be frozen not for healing.

The wounded child asks for healing, love and care; but what do we do for that? Do not think of the answer easy. I will tell you now. We do the opposite. We run as much as possible because we do not want more suffering; we are afraid of it. The suffering we experience not only belongs to a moment, but multiple events, and experiences. It can be in any form and does not matter how big or small. It is relative. Those traumas: blocks of pain and suffering in us feels overwhelming. We are not at a certain level of awareness to change our paradigm in that moment. We try to occupy and entertain ourselves within the illusion of our world. That illusion captures us with watching TV. Using the phone, socializing, sex, or using drugs or alcohol. Why all of those? Why do we try those things when we truly we do not want to? Because we do not want to feel that suffering all over again.

The main point here is ignorance because we even do not know the inner child is there. This part of us is reality and in us. Our paradigm is ignorance; the solution is understanding because the ability to see things the way they are, without that lens is freedom for the inner child. But ignorance is inside of each cell of us and our consciousness. This is a like a drop of poison passing throughout our body – organs and consciousness. Ignorance stops us from seeing the source and reality. While we are in that state, we are in an illusion. It gives us pride, false ego, convincing us to make foolish decisions, and it causes even more suffering. The cycle repeats and we go in deeper, closing ourselves from the outside. But in that state, we think there is something wrong with the outside, not the inside of us. Then we try to force to change jobs, relationships, the place we are living, etc. Of course, they may need to change as well, but my point is if change happens in you when your paradigm shifts, your entire life will be changed. You will see everything in a harmonious way. We do not need to go seeking the cause of our suffering outside or far away because it is lying inside of us right now at this moment. The one thing we need to do is look deeply and we can be in touch with that child. How do we touch that child? Everything starts with a thought and that is a seed you need to plant inside of yourself in order to shift and heal your inner child/paradigm. Because our mind is the true source of infinite power and the example of Gandhi has shown that a single individual’s strong belief can move whole nations.

When we become aware of a wounded child within us, we feel great compassion for that child and we begin to generate the energy of mindfulness. Because the seed of awakened understanding that supreme intelligence, and happiness is inside of us, we need to turn our spiritual essence. We have a supreme power with which we can communicate and create our reality. We are spiritual beings experiencing a human experience in a human body. So when we came into this incarnation, we forgot why we came here and what powers we are holding. We forgot how to use our higher mental faculties and abilities and then we let the illusion of existence capture us and manifest itself in different forms and names.

One of the main reasons we avoid our inner child is because we are afraid of suffering. This is the subconscious mind where our illusions, programing, paradigm and illusionary beliefs are stored. The mind is a separate self because we suffer from discrimination and delusion. Turn and look at all creatures, animals and every being around you. All have been in their habitat living in harmony. The only creatures living without harmony is human beings and they are living separated from their source. The reason is only human beings have the ability to create their own reality.

About the Author

Reyhan Toplu is a holistic healing and mindfulness practitioner, scholar, yogini, and author who offers her blending lifetime skills and knowledge with holistic; body mind spirit approach. Reyhan focuses on the multidimensional needs of individual. Recognizing a need for greater spiritual awareness in society, Reyhan has devoted her life on especially inner child healing, self-love, teaching mindfulness and helping people in all age groups who need to discover and develop their creative power of self-healing and personal growth. She also has integrated her accredited yoga, meditation, reiki, shamanic healing and other healing practices into her private healing & therapy work and public course offerings. And she is also writing her next book “Mindful Compassion for Suffering".

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Guest Post
What advice would you give budding writers?

 Writing is very personal. You have to be brave to delve into the land of fantasy or nonfiction, scope out your book and write it. Even if you don’t have any writing experience whatsoever. You build a bridge to get to the other side, regardless if you have building skills or not. The desire has to be there—burning through your brain.

 The most important advice I can give is to backpedal away from anyone who tries to clip your wings. Those people who cruelly make snide remarks about your writing efforts. People you thought were your friends, but when they discover you have delved into a new hobby or pastime, they make fun of you.

 Those are not your friends. If they happen to be your husband/wife/father/ mother/lover/partner/boyfriend/girlfriend/sibling – you get my drift – divorce may be involved, depending on how much this new passion means to you.

I’ve had people ask me why I continue to write when I don’t make a lot of money off my efforts. I cock my head like a dog and ask them: What else would I do? This is what I do. I create worlds, characters, situations. I could NOT stop writing because there’s so much flinging around in my head it would take me eons to write everything I long to write.

Align yourself with people who support you. People who cherish you and think what you are doing is awesome. Find a critique group, or an online group that will help you through the process. Once you finish your first book you will most likely be thirsting to write another, then another.

Take online and in-person classes. Educate yourself. No money? Take your butt to the library and ask a librarian where you can find books about writing. Be specific so you find exactly what you need.

When you finish your book, find an editor in your book genre. If you’re writing fantasy, you do not want to hire an editor who edits poetry. Don’t hire your high school or college English teacher! You need a book editor! There’s a vast difference, so look into the different types of editors and where to find them. They are a click away.

Dawn Greenfield Ireland is the author of several award-winning novels, nonfiction books, and screenplays. To date she has 12 published novels that consists of three series (cozy mystery, YA science fiction/fantasy, and adult shape-shifter), a dystopian, and a sci-fi romance adventure. The Last Dog, a dystopian novel set in 2086 is closely related to the Covid/Corona pandemic! Who knew there would be so many parallels from the time she wrote the book (2010) to this crazy pandemic of 2020! Three of her nonfiction books have won awards. Nine of her 15 screenplays (comedies, dramas, horror, action adventure and science fiction), have won awards. She has also written three short scripts. Her former day job as an award-winning technical writer (34 years) played a major role in her fiction writing – she is detailed oriented, the organizational queen of the known universe, and never misses a deadline. Dawn writes full time in addition to editing books for authors, and coaching people through the writing process.

Connect with the author:  website ~ facebook ~ twitter ~ pinterest ~ instagram ~ goodreads

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Inside Voices

The mind is a strange beast...extraordinary, unpredictable, protective.

Penny Osborn's mind is no exception. In High School, Penny witnessed a massacre and lost her father to the same killers. She had seen it unfold before it happened, in a premonition, but could not prevent it.

A college research project at the edge of the Arctic is her chance for a new beginning. Struggling with PTSD, Penny's therapy includes running, dogs, and guitars. Yet her fresh start is plagued by new premonitions, dark and foreboding, that coincide with a rising number of murders in the community. Her visions are vague, offering little to identify the killer.

When confronted with an orphaned polar bear cub, Penny risks everything to save its life. The deepening mystery of the murdered women, coupled with the exhaustive duties of caring for the small cub, draw her closer to her friend, Noah, and further from her sister.

Fearful for the serial killer's next target, Penny discovers where her physical abilities can help her.

Will letting go of the past lead to healing? And can she stop the murders?

Purchase Link - http://mybook.to/insidevoices

Author Q&A
1. What would you consider to be your Kryptonite as an author? 
Distractions. While writing, I'm easily torn from my thoughts. My hubby gifted me a pair of noise-canceling headphones…they are excellent but now, to get my attention, my family has to jump around or tap me on the shoulder. Did I mention I scare easily? 

2. If you could tell your younger writing self anything, what would it be? 
As in life, never give up. Take a break if you need it, but never give up. You may find that life steps in altering your dream, and that is okay. 

3. Favorite childhood memory involving books? 
Those Disney books that came with a cassette tape - readalongs. "You'll know it is time to turn the page when the chimes ring like this. *chimes* Let's begin now." I couldn't get enough of those books! 

4. If you could dine with any literary character, who would it be and why? 
Terry Pratchett's character DEATH. The guy gets a bad rap for what is only his job. Bet he would like to unwind, maybe share a few tales not mentioned in Sir Pratchett's books. 

5. What fantastical fictional world would you want to live in (if any) given the chance? 
Every place has its pros and cons. I'll stick with North Dakota.

6. Did you want to be an author when you grew up? 
No, I originally wanted to be a nun. I became a veterinarian instead.

7. If you had to describe yourself in three words, what would they be? 
Crazy haired weirdo (my older daughter suggested that, and I don’t disagree)

8. What’s one movie you like recommending to others?
The Princess Bride.

9. If you could own any animal as a pet, what would it be?
An elephant. Then it could give my dog a bath. 

10. What is the first book that made you cry? 
If it wasn't Wind in the Willows, then it was The Black Stallion back in grade school. Yes, yes. I've been told I'm too sensitive. Whatever. I can't make myself not cry when the mood strikes. 

11. How long, on average, does it take you to write a book? 
I work full-time, so my writing time is essentially spare moments and stolen hours, where I ignore my family (sorry!). Inside Voices took about 6 years, BUT I learned a lot and hope the next books go more quickly. 

12. How do you select the names of your characters? 
I tried to avoid the names of friends or family for Inside Voices. Lists of baby names, name origin lists were my go-to references. It's exciting to name characters. I have all these children (of my mind) that I can call whatever I want!

13. What creature do you consider your "spirit animal" to be? 
Are we talking about real animals? If so, it's probably a horse...erm, a fat pony who doesn’t like her feet handled. 

14. What are your top 5 favorite movies? 
The Princess Bride, The Man From Snowy River, The Last Unicorn, Monty Python's Search for the Holy Grail, and Goonies.

15. If you were the last person on Earth, what would you do? 
Wouldn't that be terribly lonely? Hopefully, there would be dogs. And books. I'd have to wander to a warmer place, definitely with a beach. I'm sure I'd find plenty of things to do. I mean, I'm really good at creating work for myself now! Ha

16. Do you have any advice for aspiring writers?
The book won't write itself. So start. Anywhere. The beginning, middle, end. Just start writing. And be patient. It will take time, and you will become frustrated and convinced it's garbage. So write from the heart and for yourself. Let it sit before you begin editing. Then hire a professional editor to show you how to improve your work. 

17. What is your favorite genre to read? 
Sci-fi/fantasy - dark thrillers.

 

Facebook Author page: https://www.facebook.com/sarahdavisdvm/  

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https://www.instagram.com/sarahdavisdvm/ 

Contemporary Romance

Release Date: October 29, 2020

From internationally bestselling romance author Alexa Aston – the final book in the exciting Hollywood Name Game – a stunning new contemporary romance series. Read for FREE with Kindle Unlimited!

She’s a legal shark—sleek and deadly—but doesn’t trust anyone beyond her small circle of family and friends.

He’s internationally famous—and yet a mystery to the world as he cloaks himself in privacy.

Can they shed their fears and open their hearts to one another?

Actor Wynn Gallagher is at the peak of his fame, playing superhero Carbon Man in the Alpha Tharra Universe film franchise. While the role has made him wealthy, he’s ready to move on to newer challenges—but his ironclad contract will keep him tied to the role for years to come. Seeking legal advice, he approaches Scarlett Corrigan, one of the top entertainment attorneys in Los Angeles.

Scarlett is the younger sister of Hollywood’s highest paid actor, Rhett Corrigan, but she’s made a name for herself in entertainment law. She thrives on challenges and readily accepts Wynn as a client, but she puts the brakes on the strong attraction between them, not wanting to mix business with pleasure.

Eventually, Wynn and Scarlett become involved but tragedy strikes not once, but twice, threatening to end their relationship before it has a chance to grow and flourish.

Can Wynn and Scarlett overcome overwhelming odds and find lasting love?

Hollywood Enigma is the fifth and final book in the Hollywood Name Game series. Each book in the series is a standalone story that can be enjoyed out of order.

Other Books in the Hollywood Name Game Romance Series:

Hollywood Heartbreaker

Hollywood Name Game, Book 1

Release Date: August 6, 2020

 From internationally bestselling romance author Alexa Aston comes a stunning new Contemporary Romance series. Book One in the exciting Hollywood Name Game series has arrived. Read for FREE with Kindle Unlimited!

 Being late to an interview lands her the biggest job opportunity of her life.

He may be rich and successful—but he’s just this side of miserable.

Can a wannabe be The One for the biggest star in Hollywood?

Cassie Carroll came to Hollywood with big dreams that never materialized. Acting isn’t even on the back burner anymore—it’s completely off the stove. Working for a third-rate agent, Cassie hopes to land a new job that will give her credibility, as well as help pay the rent. Late to her interview, she swerves to avoid hitting a dog—and totals the car of Hollywood’s leading action superstar. Surprisingly, she walks away from their encounter with a job—as the sexiest man alive’s personal assistant.

Rhett Corrigan is bored with the movies he makes and the drop-dead gorgeous model he’s dating. He’s afraid that Hollywood has typecast him—and that he’ll never be able to break out of his action mold and try new acting challenges. When Cassie Carroll literally slams into his life, she brings a breath of fresh air and common sense to his world. She pushes him to be a better actor and a better man.

Can these friends become lovers—and can their love survive—in a tabloid-happy town that thrives on rumors and backstabbing?

Amazon

Hollywood Flirt

Hollywood Name Game. Book 2

Release Date: August 27, 2020

 From internationally bestselling romance author Alexa Aston – Book Two in the exciting Hollywood Name Game – a stunning new contemporary romance series. Read for FREE with Kindle Unlimited! 

She’s Hollywood royalty whose trail vanished a dozen years ago.

He doesn’t do relationships and thinks commitment is a four-letter word.

They Google each other . . . and sparks fly . . .

Sydney Revere, the daughter of a famous movie couple, left Hollywood behind over a decade ago. Christened The Wild Child by the media, she reinvents herself as a serious student who becomes an attorney and marries a safe, predictable man. When her husband cheats on her and the law loses its glitter, Sydney returns to Hollywood. Her father hires her to storyboard his upcoming movie, No Regrets—and then stuns Sydney when he offers her the job as his assistant director.

Dash DeLauria is a rising actor who hasn’t trusted a woman since his mother left. He’s now the guardian of his mentally-challenged brother. Dash is looking to grow professionally and after he wins the lead in No Regrets, he finds he’s lost his heart and soul to Sydney. With both their careers on the upswing, life is sweet.

But Sydney’s ex-husband isn’t finished with her yet. Discovering who she really is—and that she’s wealthy—he tracks her to California, ready to start over with her again.

No matter what it takes . . .

Amazon

Hollywood Player

Hollywood Name Game, Book3

Release Date: September 17, 2020

 She has zero friends . . . and is wary of men, living life as a recluse.

His only friend is 90 and when she dies, he’s adrift.

Can a dyslexic actor and a shy loner find happiness together?

Famous from the time she was fourteen, London Russell lands the cover of Sports Illustrated to cap off her modeling career. Leaving the fashion world behind, she follows her dream of becoming a singer-songwriter. Thanks to an ex-boyfriend’s vicious attack on her, London becomes a recluse who turns out hits but never tours—and can’t trust a man. Her life changes course when she encounters a Hollywood screenwriter and director and agrees to write the theme song for their next movie.

Knox Monroe grew up as America’s darling, a child actor featured on several popular television series. After his mother’s betrayal, Knox drops out of sight, returning years later to make the successful transition to adult roles. A known womanizer and loner, Knox meets London by chance. Through her connections, he winds up with the lead role in a new movie.

Will London be able to open her heart and move past Knox’s player reputation? And will Knox knock down the emotional fortress that he’s built around his heart?

In Hollywood, anything’s possible. . .

 Amazon

Hollywood Double

Hollywood Name Game, Book 4
Release Date: October 8, 2020

From internationally bestselling romance author Alexa Aston – Book Four in the exciting Hollywood Name Game – a stunning new contemporary romance series – has arrived. Read for FREE with Kindle Unlimited!

She’s a Hollywood leading lady who’s never found love – except with Jax, her Basenji.

He’s divorced from a cheating wife and refuses to ever give his heart away again.

Together, their smoking-hot chemistry leads to movie magic . . . and murder . . .

Mac Randall’s life turns upside down when he walks in on his wife and her lover. He finishes his tour of duty overseas and leaves the army, becoming a popular stuntman in Hollywood. When the actor Mac doubles for is murdered, Mac is surprised to find himself cast as the film’s leading man—at the suggestion of the actress who will play opposite him.

Keely Kennedy has built a solid career in Hollywood, rising from supporting roles to leading lady, but she’s been unlucky in love. She becomes close friends with Mac Randall, her new co-star, while she helps him prepare for his first on-screen role. Friendship blossoms into love during their shoot and despite several mishaps on the set, she knows not only has she done the best work in her career on this film, but she believes Mac will become an instant star.

Before production is complete, though, the murderer surfaces—ready to kill the film—and its two stars.

Hollywood Double is the fourth book in the Hollywood Name Game series. Each book in the series is a standalone story that can be enjoyed out of order.

Amazon

 Excerpt

Scarlett was different. A highly paid professional in a competitive field. Comfortable in her own skin. She came from a world where she mingled with the rich and famous on a regular basis. She didn’t seem impressed sitting next to Carbon Man. She treated him as Wynn, a guy—not Wynn, the megastar.

That was a huge turn-on.

He noticed people seated at tables around them began rising. Scarlett scooped up her casino money and he said, “You must’ve done Sarah a good favor to get double the money to play with.”

Those mesmerizing gray eyes looked at him with amusement. “I helped her work out a problem that arose at the last minute.”

With a straight face, he said, “It involved a demanding donor who wanted a front row seat to tonight’s action, I’d guess.”

The corners of her sensual mouth turned up. “I believe it did. Fortunately, this donor came alone. No plus-one. Since I ended a relationship this morning, it was easy to insert this fussy donor into my plus-one’s seat.” Her smile widened. “Problem solved.”

“Was this a longtime plus-one?” he asked.

She shrugged. “A couple of months. I had the feeling Chaz was more interested in the people he would see tonight and chat up than he was spending time with me.”

“Then Chaz is a fool,” Wynn said. “I’ve known you less than two hours and see you’re smart, capable, interesting, and incredibly beautiful. If I were your plus-one, it would be hard to get rid of me. I’d be stuck to you like glue.”

Her eyes lit with interest. “You would?”

“Definitely.”

 
About the Author

Her historical romances bring to life loveable rogues and dashing knights, while her contemporary romances are light and flirty and sometimes contain a bit of suspense.

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